


Perchance to Dream

by deluxekyluxtrashcan (rhoen)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Bottom Armitage Hux, Consensual Somnophilia, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Somnophilia, Top Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 04:08:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8782357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/deluxekyluxtrashcan
Summary: Kylo is happy and willing to help Hux fulfil a fantasy, although when Hux decides to record it the second time, he discovers that Kylo doesn't do exactly what Hux asked him to.





	

**Author's Note:**

> *shrugs* I don't mean anything by the title - I just suck at coming up with anything good.
> 
> I've been meaning to write this for at least three months now. I hope that, even if the writing is terrible, you enjoy the idea of it.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to get this done, particularly Kali.
> 
> Don't translate or repost this without my permission. Linking with a snippet is okay though.

Hux can't quite explain why, but every time he sees Kylo using his power to rob someone of their consciousness as easily as anyone else might command a light, he feels a stirring of excitement. At first he'd been surprised, then intrigued, and now he's fixated. He still can't quantify and understand the particular nuances of the Force, but he can't deny what he sees happening before him, or that it excites him..

It takes him a while to work out how to broach the subject with Kylo. Even when he does he still can't completely explain his obsession with the idea, and hopes that Kylo doesn't question him too closely. Hux isn't sure what his desire says about him as an individual.

He waits until they've both collapsed in sated exhaustion, flushed skin sticking together and chests rising and falling in tandem, before touching on the subject, figuring that Kylo will be at his most relaxed and approachable post-orgasm.

“You make everything seem so effortless,” he starts, knowing how susceptible Kylo is to praise. “Today, in the hangar, I saw what you did to that petty officer. You took his consciousness with barely a thought.”

“You were thinking about that?”

Kylo sounds genuinely surprised, and Hux shrugs as he presses against the other man's body. The stickiness and mess should disgust him but, alarmingly, he'd quickly come to realise he enjoyed it. Now he's less concerned about the fact he enjoys it, but he's never admitted why he likes it out loud, and doubts he ever will.

“Have you ever considered doing it to me?”

“A few times,” Kylo admits. “Especially to start with. You were insufferable.”

Hux smiles almost fondly as he remembers their strained first few months of working together.

“And now?”

“No.”

It's telling as to how much has changed when Kylo runs his fingers gently through Hux's ruined hair. The gesture is clearly affectionate.

“What if I asked you to?”

Kylo stops and tenses, pulling back a fraction to regard Hux carefully. “What do you mean?”

Another small shrug and Hux looks away, trying to downplay the importance. “It's nothing,” he lies.

“Hux,” Kylo says sternly.

Hux finds a crease in the sheet to fiddle with as he continues. “Have you ever thought about how vulnerable someone would be like that?”

“No, but you clearly have.”

“Wouldn’t that interest you? If it were me?”

“It might…” Kylo concedes. “Is that what you want?”

Hux has never been good at admitting to what he wants when it’s more a matter of pleasure than ambition. It took a new kind of strength to allow what he and Kylo have to form, and he needs more of that strength now. He envies Kylo’s ability to read moods at a glance - Hux has no way of knowing how receptive Kylo will be to the idea.

“Yes,” he states, finding no reason not to speak in anything but absolutes. He can’t help the way he flushes with embarrassment at admitting something so personal and perverse, but he knows what he wants, so why dance around it? Kylo will either react with revulsion and laugh at him, or he’ll be open to the suggestion. “Are you open to the idea?”

Kylo shifts, turning onto his side to look directly at Hux, his dark eyes alive with curiosity. Hux can’t detect any ridicule there.

“Perhaps. What would you want me to do?”

He can’t help swallowing thickly before answering. “I want you to render me unconscious, and then fuck me. I don’t want you to think about me, or my pleasure. I just want you to use my body for your own release.”

_ As if I were nothing to you _ , is loud, even unspoken, in the space between them. Hux’s heart beats wildly in his chest, his blood racing and cheeks burning as he waits for Kylo’s response to his admission and request. He feels fragile, and exposed. He’s offered up a vulnerable, carefully guarded piece of himself that could so easily be used against him. There’s no word for the level of trust he’s placing in Kylo.

“How long have you had this fantasy?” Kylo asks dryly, licking his lips. Hux can’t mistake the interest he sees in Kylo’s expression, nor the growing hunger.

“A while.”

He can’t say how long, exactly, but the desire isn’t so new that he hasn’t had time to think about it in minute detail.

Kylo shifts closer, pressing his lower body against Hux’s and tangling their legs together as he wraps an arm around Hux’s waist. The drying mess on their now cool skin is easy to ignore when Hux feels Kylo’s flaccid cock against his own, fat and sticky with come and lube. He can’t help shivering, his eyes fluttering closed as he accepts Kylo’s touch.

“So what do you want? How would it happen?” Kylo asks invitingly, his voice low and seductive. “Would we do it here, or somewhere else?”

“Here,” Hux finally manages. The simplest answer now given, he finds the rest following easily. “I’d want to be dressed to start with, and for you to act as if I’m an annoyance. I don’t want you to be particularly friendly or warm, or nice. There’s something better you can get from me, so you take it.”

He pauses, and finds Kylo gently stroking his skin, looking rapt.

“What would I do?”

The almost breathless words invite Hux to forget every ounce of shame, and he struggles not to groan or rock his hips against Kylo’s as he elaborates.

“Steal my consciousness. Make me crumple like you do to all those others who irritate you, and carry me to the bed. I don’t care if you’re rough with me, or how much you undress me. You wouldn’t undress though. It’s just convenience to you. You’d take what you want and then leave.”

He feels Kylo’s cock twitch against his own, and gives a shuddering breath as he cants his hips forwards a fraction, seeking stimulation. His lips are parted, and he feels the warmth of Kylo’s breath as the other man leans in as if to kiss him.

“How prepared would you be?”

Hux gives a low moan, eyes barely open as he imagines his answer. “Barely. I want to feel it afterwards.”

“And would I just leave you when I’m done? Leave you to wake up aching and used, filthy with my come?”

“Fuck!” Hux whimpers. “Yes. Oh stars, yes.”

He’s hard again now, and can’t help the way he grinds against Kylo, lost in the fantasy he’s kept secret for so long. Even the words leave him undone. The mere vocalisation of his perverse desire is almost too much. Kylo is too much. His voice robs Hux of his ability to think, and all he wants is to hear those words again, spoken as if a promise of what’s to come.

As if hearing Hux’s thoughts, Kylo rolls them over, pinning Hux beneath his weight and rutting against him, his lips kissing Hux’s cheek as he breathes promises to him.

“I’d fuck you so hard,” he whispers, “that you’d feel it for days afterwards. I’d leave you aching.”

He kisses Hux greedily, hands finding Hux’s wrists and bringing them, pinning them to the pillow. Despite his bulk and muscle, Kylo is lithe, and he shifts fluidly against Hux’s body, offering just a little too much stimulation for Hux to manage. It’s perfect, and he mewls as Kylo expertly manipulates him.

“I’d take whatever I wanted,” Kylo continues, giving a broken groan as the pace he’s setting gets to him too. “Anything. Everything. It’s mine.”

Hux wants to claw at him. He desperately wants to tug Kylo closer, and struggles to rock his pinned hips and meet Kylo’s thrusts.

“And not just once,” Kylo breathes, his cheeks and chest flushing with exertion and excitement. “I’d have you again and again, over and over, until I was completely sated.”

Kylo trembles, sweat forming on his brow and dripping into Hux’s hairline. Hux whimpers, lost in Kylo’s words and his own thoughts, the idea of Kylo fucking him like that fracturing his mind and pushing all reason from him.

“Every last drop of my come,” Kylo’s words start to fracture, the effort of speaking becoming greater and greater as he rushes towards completion. Hux can’t tell if the warm, wet precome being smeared over the head of his cock is his own or Kylo’s, but he can sense that Kylo’s as close as he is.

“Filling... filling you up. Over and over.”

The words are broken and fragmented, yet they’re everything Hux needs. He gives a choked gasp and then whines, whimpering as he feels the last fraction of tension applied in just the right way to undo him. For a moment he hovers there, caught on the precipice before release, and then he tumbles over it, tensing and fighting for breath as he starts to come, Kylo’s warm, possessive growl filling his ears.

“Mine.”

The knotted tension in Kylo snaps, and as the last of his own orgasm ebbs from his body Hux’s oversensitive cock and already filthy stomach are coated with Kylo’s seed, the friction easing as Kylo comes to a shuddering halt after several more thrusts of his hips. They’re both breathless again, and Hux feels a rush of cool air against his damp skin as Kylo shifts and releases his aching wrists.

For several moments they’re both too spent to say anything, and Hux wraps his arms around Kylo, wanting to keep him from going anywhere too soon. The air around them reeks of flushed bodies and sex, and he nuzzles against Kylo, seeking more of the pleasant scent.

“Wow,” Kylo eventually manages.

Hux chuckles, stroking damp, unruly dark hair. “Wow indeed,” he agrees.

Kylo pulls back just enough to kiss him, the touch lingering and heavy. It’s familiar, and helps Hux feel less vulnerable after what they’ve just shared.

Eventually Kylo pulls back, and regards Hux with a soft, gentle look.

“Would it make you happy if we did that for real?”

Hux nods, and it’s Kylo’s turn to stroke his hair. He always does so so reverently, and a somehow sad, wistful little smile tugs at his lips. Hux sees it more and more often, and wonders what it means.

“Let’s try it some time then.”

Hux can’t help smiling brightly.

“I’d like that.”

Kylo smiles easily in return, sealing the deal with a kiss.

When Hux wakes up there’s no disorientation. He knows exactly where he is and what’s happened, although, peculiarly, it feels as if he’d only blinked. He has no idea how long he’s been unconscious - long enough for Kylo to make use of him, at least.

He’s alone. He’s lying almost face down on the bed, naked, as if he’d been fucked in that position and then discarded. The sticky mess leaking from his ass and dirtying his thighs makes his breath hitch in shameful excitement, and in that moment his cock twitches against a wet patch on the bed. So he came too. It’s a pity, Hux thinks. He’d love to take himself in hand and jerk off while still filthy from Kylo’s seed, but the tired way his cock tries and fails to harden tells him he’ll just have to save it for later - for another time, perhaps, although he knows he’s going to get off thinking about this for the next few days at least.

There’s no real hurry to move. Kylo hasn’t been gone long but Hux doesn’t need to go after him or call the man back to his side. He can savour this, taking in every minute detail about the experience and how it feels. Those missing minutes - or hours, he’s still not sure yet - are wonderfully devoid of detail, and his mind flits over each possibility as to how he got like this, and what Kylo might have done with him.

It’s not long before he’s rocking his hips against the spoiled sheets and then taking himself in hand to ease his spiraling need. He stays in the same position - discarded on his front, his ass exposed to the cool climate controlled air of his room and come still trickling from him - and rocks into his fist, biting back moans as he gets off to the thoughts filling his head. He still can’t quite believe that his lurid fantasy came true.

There’s not much to his orgasm beyond relief, and as he collapses bonelessly, satisfied for the moment, he smiles to himself. He had no idea it would play out so well. From the moment he’d first opened up and admitted to Kylo that he wanted this, he’d placed himself in the other man’s hands. Kylo could easily have ridiculed him, or used the knowledge against him in a number of humiliating ways. Instead, he’d not only been accepting of the idea and willing to consider it, he’d actually gone through with it.

Hux doesn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day, and showers, changes his bed and goes on duty the next morning with a lightness to his mood that, if anyone notices, they wisely don’t comment on.

 

Hux’s only regret about the whole thing is that he couldn’t see it. He can imagine what it might have looked like, should anyone have be watching, but he doesn’t know for sure. The more he thinks about it, the more wants to find out. If the idea of watching Kylo use his unconscious body for his own pleasure affects Hux to the distracting degree it does, he can barely imagine what it would be like if he actually had a vid of it.

Kylo seems relieved that the whole thing went well. He’d been the one to insist on doing a ‘test run’ where he let Hux experience a few moments of Force-induced unconsciousness to understand what it would feel like, and it had taken Hux’s very firm reassurance that he’d use enough lube - and leave a jar of it nearby - before Kylo agreed to go through with the whole thing. Given the casual way he treats everyone else, he’s oddly careful with Hux. Still, Hux is sure Kylo will agree to do it again. After the first time Kylo had been incredibly attentive, kissing and caressing Hux and asking him over and over if he’d liked it, if it had felt good, how he’d felt when waking up and if he was glad they’d done it, prompting him with questions such as ‘did you ache for me afterwards?’. Talking about it while fucking had been a strangely pleasant contrast, Kylo’s warmth and inescapable presence countering the cold anonymity from before. Hux found he liked both sides to it, and it was reassuring to know that Kylo still wanted him.

When he broaches the subject and asks, as directly as he can, if Kylo would be willing to do it again, Kylo hugs him tightly, clearly eager.

“Here? Now?”

Hux shakes his head, pushing a stray hair back from Kylo’s brow. “How about tomorrow night?”

Kylo kisses him in agreement, and Hux tugs him closer.

“Tell me what you’ll do to me,” he asks, feeling Kylo shiver against him in response.

The other man licks his lips before complying, whispering all the things Hux wants to hear in the charged space between them, setting Hux so on edge he can’t help crying out when Kylo brings him to completion.

How he ever found the perfect partner in Kylo he doesn’t know, but Hux doesn’t intend to waste the opportunity he’s been given.

 

Prior to Kylo coming to his quarters, Hux sets everything up for the encounter. He positions a camera, angled towards his bed, and takes thirty seconds of test footage. Satisfied with the result, he moves on to readying himself.

It’s difficult to do it efficiently. Thanks to his thoughts dwelling on what is about to happen, Hux’s body is highly receptive to touch, and his cock aches and pulses for attention which he has to deny himself. It would be too easy to give in to the excuse of needing to take the edge off. He won’t allow himself to, no matter how badly he wants it, or how he can’t hold back the moans and gasps that fall from his lips as he works slick fingers into himself, rocking back against the intrusion. He uses a little more than just enough lube, and some, inevitably, leaks out when he puts his trousers back on. He doesn’t let it deter him, having accounted for it, and makes his way back to the bedroom, almost ready for the encounter to begin.

With a touch of his finger to the concealed camera everything is complete, and he comms Kylo and tells him to enter.

 

The recording device has become one of Hux’s most treasured possessions. After he’d woken, alone as he’d wanted, and lingered long enough to enjoy the aftereffects much as he had the first time they’d done this, he’d carefully stowed the camera away for future viewing. He’s not yet watched the recording, but has cleared time in his schedule to do so. After the success of the most recent training program, Hux thinks he deserves something a little special, and as Kylo isn’t around to give it to him in person, Hux settles for the holovid.

He takes his datapad off of the ship’s network - just in case - before viewing the transferred file, which he will delete after use. The original will stay on the camera, as a backup, but there’s no way he wants anyone to see this. It’s just for him.

It’s hard to contain his excitement, and the anticipation as he settles on his bed, datapad in one hand and the other resting carefully against his hip, already has his heart rate elevated. He opens the file and presses play, adamantly avoiding touching himself just yet. He wants the ache of it to be almost unbearable before he gives in, although with the way his cock twitches at the promise of the video he know it won’t take long.

Nothing happens for the first few minutes. Hux had waited for Kylo to come, and he waits again now, watching the empty frame with breathless excitement. The seconds draw out almost unbearably, until, at last he hears the door opening and his own, familiar voice, greeting Kylo.

“General,” is all Kylo says in acknowledgement, his voice pitched low and affecting Hux even now. He remembers this part, and watches as they both come into frame, a few barbed insults being exchanged before Kylo kisses him. Hard. It wasn’t exactly what they’d planned, but it had felt so good Hux hadn’t argued at the time, and he certainly isn’t going to argue now. The sight of him kissing back just as fiercely sets his heart racing, and he can barely hear the muted sounds coming from the vid over the thrum of blood in his ears. He knows what comes next. He watches as he pushed Kylo away, growling in warning, and Kylo ignores him completely, moving in and taking what he wants. His gloved fingers twist into Hux’s hair, holding him in place as Kylo asserts his dominance, reaching out…

Hux groans as he sees himself crumple. He’s held securely in Kylo’s arms, and the moment he’s unconscious Kylo switches to kissing his neck, lavishing it with attention as he turns and lowers Hux to the bed. The sight of himself helpless and at Kylo’s mercy is too much, and Hux’s cock twitches in protest of neglect. He thought he’d be able to restrain himself for longer, but the need to take the edge off is too great. He pushes into his boxers without ceremony, long, cool fingers closing around his aching cock and drawing it out, stroking firmly as he continues to watch.

On screen, Kylo is starting to undress him. He’s pulled back and is parting Hux’s uniform jacket, his hand sliding in and caressing Hux’s chest before stroking down over his stomach. What he’s doing is partly obscured, but it’s clear he’s making quick work of Hux’s trousers, tugging the garment down as far as it will go before turning his attention to Hux’s boots. Kylo has learnt the best way to remove them, and does so quickly and efficiently, and a few moments later Hux’s legs are free of clothing. Kylo’s hand strokes down the inside of Hux’s thigh as he leans in again, kissing Hux.

It’s strange, Hux thinks, watching as Kylo’s hand comes up to caress his hair. He half expects to see Kylo jerk his hair back in a rough, dominant way and snarl at him, but Kylo does neither of those things.

It gets worse. Hux’s hand falters and he neglects his now flagging erection as he watches his screen in confusion. Kylo takes his hand, kissing it lightly, before setting it gently on Hux’s chest and then undressing. Everything about the way he touches Hux is so careful and tender, and it completely throws Hux. He half expects Kylo to turn to the camera and laugh, having worked out Hux’s deception, but he continues as before. It isn’t what Hux expected. He doesn’t know how to react to the gentle, reverent way Kylo is treating him.

In the vid, Kylo is kissing his face, his lips caressing Hux’s cheeks, his eyelids, his brow, his jawline… He kisses close to Hux’s ear, and the audio is barely a whisper.

“I’m so sorry, Hux,” Kylo breathes, his voice choked with emotion. Hux expects him to snap at that point, and to start treating him aggressively, but he doesn’t. He continues as gently as before, leaving Hux beyond confused.

He’s not sure what to think, or feel, as he watches Kylo make love to him.

Hux had been looking forward to a quiet evening of salacious pleasure. Now, though, his cock lies neglected as he watches the vid, transfixed. His cheeks flush as he incredibly intimate scene plays out in front of him. He had no idea… 

Kylo is gentle. Hux didn’t realise he could be that tender. He embraces Hux, kissing his neck more than his lips as he rocks into him, his hips shifting in a strong, smooth rhythm. His fingers trace down Hux’s arm until he finds Hux’s hand and he laces their fingers together. It’s not at all what Hux wanted or expected to happen, but rather than feeling angry at Kylo, or even violated by the other man’s actions, he’s at a loss. Something strange stirs in his chest as he watches, tugged to a sharp, piercing point by the snatches of words he hears Kylo mumbling against his skin.

“Beautiful… So strong… Always wanted…”

Hux shifts uncomfortably, suddenly too aware of the way his heart aches. His eyes sting with unexplainable tears, and he blinks them back, still watching the screen. It blurs for a moment, and his hand twitches, closing around air rather than the hand holding his in the vid. Kylo still hasn’t let go, even though his other arm is wrapped around Hux’s back, causing his back to arch slightly as Kylo hugs him. Hux is totally transfixed on the display of affection, and the way Kylo lovingly holds and touches him -  _ him _ , Hux. 

A sense of loneliness and longing is starting to settle heavily on him when, in the video, Kylo’s pace changes. He suddenly stops, resting no doubt crushingly atop Hux’s unconscious body. He hasn’t come - Hux knows that much, as Kylo’s body always freezes and tenses in a telling way, and he can never help the choked sound he makes as he reaches completion - and Hux watches with concern, until he realises Kylo’s changing position. He doesn’t pull out as he sits up, letting go of Hux’s limp hand in favour of gripping at his hips, keeping Hux’s ass flush against his body. Hux’s breath hitches as he realises Kylo is about to make good on his promise to make Hux ache so that he feels it the next day, but he doesn’t reach for his cock. It’s not about that anymore.

If Hux thought it was an erotic sight to watch Kylo fucking him in person, it’s positively criminal to view it from a distance. Kylo picks a fast, unforgiving pace and sets about fucking Hux with a fervour usually reserved for training. Every muscle in his body is wonderfully defined in the unintentionally well-angled lighting of Hux’s room, Hux feels a powerful tug of arousal as he watches Kylo fuck him roughly, driving into Hux so forcefully he can almost feel the wonderful ache he’d woken with. He finds himself breathless as he watches, heart hammering in confusion as the man who’d so reverently handled him a moment ago now makes apparently selfish use of his body.

It doesn’t take long for Kylo to work up a sweat, and his hair clings damply to his neck, hanging in ringlets from his face. Hux can hear his laboured breathing over the vid’s audio, and tries to catch his breath. In just a few short minutes he feels flipped upside down, and yet, despite the erotic display, his heart aches. When Kylo stops, head bowed as he seems to try to catch his breath too, Hux longs for that tenderness again. He bites back a whimper of relief when Kylo reaches out, tenderly stroking Hux’s cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo says again softly, seeming genuinely remorseful. He lowers himself over Hux, carefully leaning in and kissing him before burying his face in Hux’s neck. “So sorry…”

He starts rocking his hips again, his pace slow and gentle. All the tenderness has returned, and Hux’s heart aches as he watches the intimate display. Despite his attention being fixed on his datapad, he’s aware of the emptiness of the room around him: the coldness and isolation. He feels incredibly alone. All he has is this fragile, precious ray of warmth - which by rights he shouldn’t have at all.

The desperation to no longer be alone, and to feel what he sees Kylo giving, slams into him full force. On the screen Kylo is reaching between them, intending to help Hux reach completion, but there’s nothing perfunctory about his actions. Kylo cares. Everything is done with Hux in mind, as if Hux himself is the most precious thing in the galaxy to Kylo. He wants that. He wants to feel that, and to know what it’s like to be at the centre of Kylo’s universe.

But instead he has to settle for watching as Kylo carefully manipulates his unconscious, vulnerable body, lavishing care and attention on him until they both reach completion. Hux finds it first, Kylo’s groan of pleasure and the stilling of his hand giving it away, and then a few moments later Kylo follows him over the edge. His body stills in the telltale way before starting to shudder as he comes, his groans muffled by Hux’s neck.

Kylo pulls away slowly; reluctantly. Hux can even see his hand tremble as it’s brought up to caress Hux’s cheek. There’s a resigned sigh as Kylo slips from his body, everything about Kylo’s movements telegraphing his displeasure at the encounter being over. He sits up, clean hand tugging at Hux’s uniform and arranging it just so - the right degree of rumpled - as he gazes down at Hux’s sleeping face. Even at the slightly off angle Hux can read the longing in his expression.

Kylo dresses quickly, even if a little listlessly. He seems dejected, and watches Hux more than his own fingers as they close fastenings and tug layers into place. It seems like he’s waiting for Hux to reach out to him with a smile, begging for an embrace. Hux, of course, doesn’t. He lies there, dead to the world and completely oblivious to the man who has just poured his heart into every moment of the encounter.

Before he leaves, Kylo leans over Hux, kissing his brow and stroking his mussed hair with a still bare hand.

“See you tomorrow, Hux,” he says, sounding very much like he’s forcing the words past an obstruction in his throat. A lump forms in Hux’s as he tries to swallow. Kylo slips from the shot, heading towards the door, and a few seconds later Hux starts to stir, regaining consciousness.

Hux quickly shuts off the replay. He knows what happened next, and he doesn’t want to see it. His face flushes with embarrassment - after all the gentleness and care Kylo lavished on him it feels wrong that he’d masturbated to the idea of Kylo doing the exact opposite.

The datapad is placed carefully on the bedside table, and Hux sinks down beneath the covers, trying to make sense of what he feels. He feels alone. It’s hard to believe that what he’s just witnessed happened on this very bed. The covers have been changed since, obviously, and no trace of it remains, but now that he knows he can’t stop thinking about it. He can’t help shifting, arranging himself into the position he’d been in the video. Closing his eyes, he tries to imagine Kylo is there with him, hovering above him like he’d done in the vid.

It doesn’t work as well as he’d like, and instead of a warm, comforting presence he’s aware of oppressive emptiness. The weight of his covers is all that separates him from it entirely, and he clings to them, unwilling to face the reality of his situation as he allows the recording to replay in his mind. He wants that tenderness, the careful touch, and those longing gazes. He wants to feel Kylo cling to him, rocking against him as they both try to find a physical way to express whatever it is they’re feeling, completely lost in each other. He wants the chance to bask in that warmth and gentleness, and to remember it, not to only have a pale, stolen shadow to reflect upon.

Hux knows sleep won’t come easily. He’s too adrift, and his heart feels bruised. There’s too much for him to process, and he doesn’t know where, or how, to begin. 

_ He made love to me _ , Hux thinks, curling up into a small, lonely ball beneath his covers.  _ He made love to me, and I didn’t even know _ .

 

There’s no questioning that he’ll have to face Kylo eventually. Hux can’t ignore what he saw. The memory of it haunts him, almost - he can’t get the image of Kylo tenderly embracing him and kissing him with a gentleness Hux never knew existed out of his mind. In the moments when his attention isn’t completely taken up by his duties, Hux is distracted by it. He aches for it, and the realisation leaves him forcibly regulating his breathing as he tries to stop from trembling when he catches himself absorbed in the fantasy of basking in that kind of affection, and even being allowed to return it. He’s not sure if he feels for Kylo what Kylo seems to feel for him, but he thinks he could. He just never knew it was an option.

If he weren’t so sure he wanted that kind of thing it would be a simple matter of pretending it had never happened. Hux would erase all trace of the holovid and end his arrangement with Kylo. In a way, it would be easier. He is used to dealing with things in a detached manner. He’s unfamiliar with the way he feels when he considers what might happen when he faces Kylo. Despite having access to very clear proof as to how Kylo feels, doubts still creep in, and Hux can’t help second guessing himself. What if Kylo doesn’t actually want this? What if it was just an escape - a scenario he was acting out just the same as Hux was? Even worse, what if he wished Hux were someone else?

Hux is still second guessing himself when Kylo returns. He’s waiting in his quarters, having extended an invitation for Kylo to join him, and when the door opens he’s still sitting on the edge of his bed, staring down at his bare hands. They’re trembling, and as he closes one over the other he feels the cold clamminess of his skin.

“You seem tired.”

Kylo’s voice is light and playful, and as he sweeps into the room Hux looks up, startled. A part of him falls away, relaxed by Kylo’s presence, while the other is keyed even tighter. He’s always known Kylo is handsome, but looking at him now it worsens the way his stomach twists and heart pounds. Has he always reacted like this?

Kylo’s expression falls as he takes in Hux’s seriousness, and he sits carefully next to Hux, brow creased in concern.

“What’s wrong?”

Hux gives a dry laugh, looking back down at his hands and wondering where to start. He had at least half a dozen explanations and speeches planned out, but he can’t remember any of them. He twists his own fingers together, feeling overwhelmed.

“Hux?”

“I saw what you did,” he finally manages, his voice shakier than he’ll admit.

He can feel Kylo’s confusion.

“Wh--?”

“When you were last here; that time. I took a holovid.”

Kylo is completely frozen in horror, and as Hux looks up he can see the fear and shame there, plain as anything.

“You…” Kylo’s throat is so tight it chokes his words, and he suddenly flushes with humiliation, looking away. “You’d embarrass me like that?”

He sounds hurt. Hux’s heart aches sympathetically, and he shakes his head, more to himself than to Kylo, who seems to be trying to withdraw.

“I didn’t mean… I didn’t know…”

“And now you do.”

The clipped, resigned tone cuts through Hux. He doesn’t know how to fix whatever disaster he can sense brewing. He wants Kylo to look at him, and to see him, and carefully reaches out, and unsteady hand catching Kylo’s chin and trying to school him into looking up again.

“I should have asked,” he concedes. “I’m sorry.”

When Kylo’s downcast eyes finally turn to Hux, they’re glassy with emotion.

“Do you hate me now?”

Hux’s breath catches, his heart twisting in pain at the idea.

“No!”

It’s instinct which makes him pull back, trying to reign in his emotional response. Hux hates the reflex. Kylo wears his emotions so openly, whereas Hux struggles to be honest even with himself. “I just… I didn’t know. You never said anything. I wish you had.”

“Do you even have room for something like me in your life?”

Hux’s fingers caress Kylo’s jawline, his thumb smoothing over a clean-shaven cheek. He wants to protest that Kylo isn’t a thing, but he understands what the other man means.

“I can make room.”

Kylo licks his lips, and Hux finds it hard not to be mesmerised by the action. His attention flickers from Kylo’s gaze, and when he looks back up he can feel it - the pull between them. There’s such sadness and hope in Kylo’s eyes, and Hux longs to give him what it is he’s so sure Kylo wants. He can’t work out if he’s the one who moved, or if it was Kylo, but there’s suddenly so little space between them, and yet still too much.

“If you would have me…”

Kylo nods, precipitating such relief that Hux can’t help smiling. He tugs Kylo closer until their foreheads touch, not quite ready to kiss before he has an irrefutable answer.

“Is that a ‘yes’, then?”

“Yeah,” Kylo breathes. “I want…”

He trails off mere moments before Hux kisses him, his lips parted and pliant for a moment before he kisses back in earnest. Suddenly there are arms around Hux, and fingers tangling with and ruining his hair, and a warm and comforting weight pressing against him. He gives in, pushing back and trying to pour into every inch of contact what it is he feels and wants. He wants this. He  _ needs _ this. He aches, his nerves ignited by not the heat of passion but by a deeper, stronger longing. It’s like nothing Hux has ever felt before, and he feels all at once calmed and thrilled by it.

When they pull apart, he’s breathless, and brings his forehead to rest against Kylo’s as he tries to steady himself. He can’t let go of Kylo - not yet.

“How long have you felt this?”

Kylo shifts, his nose nudging Hux’s in a soft, affectionate gesture. “Long enough.”

“That’s--” The protest dies on his lips. It doesn’t matter if it’s not a proper answer. There are other things Hux would rather talk about. “You looked after me.”

“Of course. What would you do if our positions had been reversed - if I was the one unconscious and in your care?”

The answer is blindingly obvious.

“Care for you.”

Kylo hums, his lips flickering upwards in a smile. It’s clearly the answer he wants to hear, and they lose themselves in another kiss.

“Would you do it now?”

Hux pulls back, startled.

“Not like that.” Kylo quickly corrects himself. “I don’t mean if I were to pass out right now. But… would you show me? How you’d care for me?”

It’s such a sincere, open request, laying bare Kylo’s vulnerability and need, that Hux’s heart clenches, throat tightening as he nods, already trying to imagine how it would play out.

His arms are already around Kylo, so it doesn’t take much for the way he holds the other man to shift, morphing into something far gentler and more attentive. He cradles Kylo to him, lightly kissing his cheek and then a fluttering eyelid as he lowers Kylo to the bed. Hux follows him down, shielding Kylo’s body from the rest of the world.

“Of course,” he whispers, kissing Kylo gently and stroking the hair back from his face. When he pulls away, he wonders how he missed it before. Kylo is somehow beautiful and handsome - imperfect and yet perfect - and lies beneath Hux, looking up at him with such trust and adoration Hux can’t help wondering how he’d failed to notice it before.

He can’t quite smile - his heart is too heavy with emotions he’s yet to truly name - but he hopes Kylo understands and can read him as he caresses Kylo’s cheek and tilts his chin up just so, angling him perfectly for the tender kiss that seals the promise:

“I’ve got you.”


End file.
